We did our best to bring you only the funniest. Politicians from both major parties were locking horns. or The same one as between a retard and a mildly retarded imbecile. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The largest collection of political one-line jokes in the world. President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. When asked what her favorite gift was, she said, 'Donald Trump.'". Check out our political jokes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops. Give a funny speech and you could save the world. Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal? "One week," he said. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!” The President beamed. “For your entire life you’re been a staunch Republican. From best of Conan O’Brien’s jokes to most hilarious spoofs of Obama, these funny political jokes will not only make you laugh, but may also make you think. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. I’ve been waiting all my life to meet the Virgin Mary.” “Ooh, sorry,” said Clinton, “you should have been there yesterday.”, 28. AhaJokes: Political Jokes Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. Upon a closer look he notices that it is John Kerry. Billy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read: “Dear God, Do you know a funny one liner? 15. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, kindly pass them up to the front.” I’ve been told I won’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. A: Senator. What special interests control you?” Clinton: “You leave Hillary out of this!”. See more ideas about church humor, jokes, christian humor. All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. A politician was a guest speaker at the golf club dinner. A: Yes, but the Constitution of the USA also guarantees freedom after the speech. Government Political Reason. If con is the opposite of pro, then is Congress the opposite of progress? She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, “I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?” He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but she’s from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. Q: What did Bill Clinton say when asked if he used protection? A priest went into a Washington, D.C., barbershop, got his hair cut and asked how much he owed. Before the movie starts, there is 15 minutes of communist propaganda, with him giving a boring speech at the end. A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn’t swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven. 1. A new arrival to Gulag is asked: "What were you given … From best of Conan O’Brien’s jokes to most hilarious spoofs of Obama, these funny political jokes will not only make you laugh, but may also make you think. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme. As the politician stood up to speak, a few of the men saw it as an opportunity to sneak off to the bar. 10 Best Chris Christie Jokes How many White House interns does it take to screw in a light bulb? Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.”. The politician's campaign speech was praised by a voter, who said: I admire the straightforward way you dodged all the issues. “I consider it a service to the Lord.” when the barber arrived at his shop the next morning, he found a dozen small prayer booklets on the stoop along with a thank you note from the priest. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. 3. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering. 32. See TOP 10 political one liners. Funny Political Jokes from Famous People Jokes About Other Politicians Funny Political One-Liners Best Short Politician Jokes George Bush Jokes Tory or Labour? Everyone stands up and Submit A joke. – "Yes" – "And how many have you collected so far?" 31. Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day. He walks into a dreadful cinema and sits down. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body to be measured however they chose. Also includes some hilarious Coronavirus jokes. As a matter of fact, I didn't make a political speech outside of my state for 20 years. Now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope. Funny Political Jokes Read More » ... Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. On my arrival in the United States I was struck by the degree of ability among the governed and the lack of it among the governing. 8370 3273. A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing. Jokes4us.com - Jokes and More. Once, a politician, 3 doctors and 3 engineers decided to climb Mt.Everest. or As the politicians started losing their tempers, one of them sneered at the other: “Have you heard of Bob Froyd?” “No.” admitted the other. Funny Political Jokes. One day, the pope was in from Italy and after a rough week of meeting archbishops and other religious figures, he decided to go see the Galveston shore in Texas. "Comrade Brezhnev, is it true that you collect political jokes?" Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. "They're talking about putting a woman on the $20 bill. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. See our new one liners or check one liner of the day. Absolutely hillarious political one-liners! What a contrast between their soporific speeches and these witty one-liners. And that, my friends, is how the new stimulus plan will work. The pope says to the men, “I know that there has been a lot of attention and a lot of strife in this election, but I can see that you two men respect each other and would help each other in their house of need. – "Three and a half labor camps." The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer. in Political Jokes +281-74. 21. When writing a speech for public speaking, it's important to have a good speech opener, a conclusion that is inspirational, funny or profound, and some jokes and humor. 23. A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Submit A joke. Bush. 27 Best Presidential Jokes A few days later a police officer came in. Gore Vidal; On my arrival in the United States I was struck by the degree of ability among the governed and the lack of it among the governing.' If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. A: Deep Throat. George Bush has fucked up so bad, he made it hard for a white man to run for president! See more ideas about church humor, jokes, christian humor. Why did Bill Clinton cross the road? Blood and glass were everywhere. America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote. Bush says, “Well that’s all neat and fine, but he doesn’t know anything about shark fishing. 26. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota. Add your one liner to our site and see how good it is. 5. A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet. or “Nothing at all, boss. 27. Political Jokes Flex your political humor with our collection of funny political jokes. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts: “Save the women!”, George W. Bush hysterically hollers: “Screw the women!”. An hour later, with the politician still talking,  another man joined them. Dick Cheney leans over and pulls him out. It’s two shots and a splash of water. Groucho Marx on Politics. A local council debate was becoming increasingly heated. 17. There’s no intelligent life on this one.”, 41. Penn Jillette. I asked Obama: “Why did you get a Nobel Prize?” He said: “I don’t know.